““What we do in life echoes in eternity.” — except, apparently, coherent writing and historical accuracy.
After 24 years of silence, one of the greatest historical epics of our time finally gets a sequel that nobody genuinely asked for — but here it is. Gladiator II arrives swinging harder than Maximus ever did, armed with a budget big enough to build a second Colosseum, a cast loaded with star power, and Ridley Scott still refusing to retire quietly.
But let’s cut the dramatics: this sequel is less a celebration of the original and more like fanfiction on steroids — with baboons, sharks, and a monkey consul thrown in because, well, why not?
This time around, we get a brand-new ensemble: Paul Mescal, Pedro Pascal, Joseph Quinn, Fred Hechinger, Lior Raz, Derek Jacobi, Connie Nielsen (reprising her role as Lucilla), and none other than Denzel Washington. Mescal takes over the role of Lucius Verus Aurelius—now renamed “Hanno” for reasons that are never quite clear—Maximus’s illegitimate son and the reluctant hero of our story.
Let’s dive into the chaos.
THE PLOT: A MAXIMUS REBOOT… WITH MONKEYS
The story picks up 16 years after the death of Emperor Marcus Aurelius. Rome is now in the hands of Geta and Caracalla — twin emperors played by Joseph Quinn and Fred Hechinger. They’re pale, snarky, and utterly unconvincing as rulers of the ancient world. Historically, these men were of North African descent. Here, they look like they escaped a Bridgerton set. So much for authenticity.
Our new Maximus — Lucius Verus Aurelius, now going by the name Hanno for reasons best left unexplored — is played by Paul Mescal. He’s living in the supposedly free North African kingdom of Numidia with his wife Arishat until Rome, led by General Acacius (Pedro Pascal), invades and enslaves the population.
This would be tragic… if it weren’t so historically incorrect. Numidia was conquered centuries before this film is set, but history is merely an obstacle when Ridley’s got CGI rhinos and shirtless gladiators to showcase.
ENTER THE BABOONS: THE GLADIATOR TRAINING MONTAGE FROM HELL
Hanno, along with other captured men, is brought to Ostia, where they’re forced to fight feral baboons. This sounds like a bad Planet of the Apes spinoff, but I assure you — it’s real, it’s in the movie, and it’s meant to be serious. He slays one of these demonic creatures, earning the attention of Macrinus (Denzel Washington) — a slave-turned-entrepreneur with a talent for grooming gladiators and whispering to emperors.
Yes, that Macrinus — a historical figure who was a Berber from Algeria, now portrayed by a brilliant but historically misplaced Denzel. We’re in peak fantasy-historical hybrid mode now. Just lean into it.
SHARKS, SWORDS & SHOUTING — THE GAMES BEGIN
As Acacius returns to Rome a war hero, the twin emperors throw games in his honor rather than feeding the starving people — classic Roman politics. At this point, the gladiator games include naval battles in the Colosseum with actual sharks. I’m not kidding.
To be clear: The Colosseum was never designed to host large aquatic creatures. Romans didn’t have the transport or storage technology to handle sharks.
And the announcer claiming it’s a reenactment of the Battle of Salamis between the Trojans and Persians? Pure fan fiction. The Battle of Salamis was between the Greeks and the Persians in 480 BCE. The Trojans had nothing to do with it. But why let facts ruin the spectacle? And yet, somehow, it’s entertaining. You know it’s dumb. You know it’s inaccurate. But you’re locked in, popcorn in hand, eyes wide.
MOTHER-SON REUNIONS & MAXIMUS SHRINES
Lucilla (Connie Nielsen, still regal) hears Hanno reciting Latin poetry during a fight and immediately realizes it’s her long-lost son, Lucius. Because nothing says “maternal instinct” like Virgil verses in the middle of a death match.
Meanwhile, Ravi — an Indian ex-gladiator turned physician (diversity and inclusion department, checked!) — befriends Lucius and introduces him to the Maximus Shrine™, complete with sword, armor, and the spirit of Russell Crowe. It’s all a bit much, but again… you’re already in too deep to question it.
THE CONSPIRACY THAT PLAYS OUT LIKE A SOAP OPERA
As the twin emperors descend into madness, naming monkeys as consuls (seriously), Lucilla, Acacius, and a few senators plot to restore the Republic. But betrayal comes fast — Macrinus, ever the puppeteer, rats them out. Acacius is executed in the Colosseum, in a scene meant to mimic Maximus’s arc but lacking the same emotional weight.
Lucilla and Lucius are left to rally what’s left — Lucius dons Maximus’s armor (cue Hans Zimmer-style music), and the gladiators revolt in glorious slow motion. There’s blood, fire, yelling, and Denzel monologuing like he’s in Training Day: Roman Edition.
THE END: MOTHER’S VOICE, RIVERS, DUELS & DESTINY
Lucius chases Macrinus to a riverbank where, despite being nearly drowned, he hears his mother’s dying voice and miraculously finds the strength to kill Macrinus. Bollywood has truly arrived in Ancient Rome. The Praetorian Guard and Acacius’s legions unite behind Lucius, who declares a “new Rome,” conveniently forgetting that five minutes earlier, he was killing people with sharks and baboons.
The film ends with Lucius mourning in the Colosseum, the Gladiator theme soaring in the background, as if trying to convince us this film belongs in the same pantheon. Spoiler: It doesn’t.
HISTORICAL INACCURACY SCORECARD: 9/10
Let’s list the most absurd creative liberties:
- Numidia invasion? False.
- Baboon gladiator trials? False.
- Sharks in the Colosseum? Laughably false.
- Trojans vs. Persians at Salamis? Fictional nonsense.
- Macrinus as a Black gladiator trainer who engineers the rise of a new Rome? Entirely rewritten.
- Monkey as a Roman consul? Honestly, we’ve given up.
And yet… it’s kind of glorious in its insanity.
WHAT WORKS
- 4DX viewing – Unhinged fun, especially when swords clash and water sprays.
- Denzel – Even historically misplaced, the man commands presence.
- Pedro Pascal – Brings genuine emotional heft.
- Action sequences – Ridley knows how to direct mayhem.
- Nostalgia – The soundtrack alone pulls at the right heartstrings.
Mescal brings stoicism, Pascal adds emotional gravitas, and Nielsen carries the emotional core like a champ. The pacing, the sets, the 4DX experience—it’s all designed to keep you immersed and distracted from the absurdity.
WHAT DOESN’T
- Derivative plot – It’s Gladiator copy-pasted with extra seasoning.
- Zero emotional payoff – Lucius just isn’t Maximus.
- Bloat – There’s too much going on for too little to matter.
- Historical heresy – If you know anything about Roman history, prepare to scream.
- Laughable melodrama – There’s a monkey consul. I rest my case.
And yes, you’ll be wondering: “How did we get from Russell Crowe’s vengeance saga to monkeys in togas?”
Gladiator II is less a sequel and more a fever dream fueled by testosterone, nostalgia, and Ridley Scott’s refusal to hire a historical consultant. But if you just want a wild ride, blood-soaked arenas, and slow-motion sword fights—you’ll be more than entertained.
Don’t come for history. Don’t come for logic. Come for chaos, blood, roaring crowds, and scenes that feel like Ridley threw darts at a board labeled “Roman Sh*t We Haven’t Done Yet.”
JAY’S VERDICT
Watch it for the mayhem. Watch it for the madness. But don’t watch it for the history.
